Stimulus package winning entries

Why I Deserve the WW Stimulus

Even though I have done NOTHING to deserve this 200 dollar WW gift, I DEMAND that someone I do not know fulfill my RIGHT to get free bathing suits for my girlfriend to wear this summer. Otherwise you are an unpatriotic racist who hates poor people.

It is capitalists like you that have held me down. It doesn’t matter that you might be more educated than me, or have worked harder while I partied, or have taken a financial entrepreneurial risk. I DESERVE basic necessities like satellite TV, free health care, and micro bathing suits.

Furthermore, as an American citizen, it is REQUIRED that other countries including Australia continue to fund our unbridled spending. The United States is simply “too big to fail”. Refusing to comply, which includes free micro bathing suits, would result in mutual economic destruction or worse!

I would say thanks, but my politician already told me I deserve this so stop being greedy and selfish.

Andrew

Wicked Stimulus

Hello I’m a Spanish fan, sorry for my bad English I write here the text first in Spanish and after English translate:

Cierro los ojos y veo a mi mujer con su bikini nuevo en la playa. El bello atardecer que presenciamos no acapara todas las miradas. Mi mujer es el segundo atardecer para los hombres all’i presentes. Es un recuerdo precioso, y ahora que me viene a la mente voy a ver las ‘ultimas novedades en la web de Wicked. Cu’al es mi sorpresa que han convocado un concurso, ‘Wicked Stimulus’. Entonces comienzo a pensar porque yo puedo merecer un regalo gratuito. Vivo en Espa~na, me separan 17696 Km de Australia, el pa’is natal de Wicked Weasel. Lejos, muy lejos, aunque yo lo noto muy cercano, ya que han formado una gran comunidad global de fans de sus dise~nos.

Dise~nos tan exclusivos que los que no los conocen, te paran, te preguntan, se interesan. Siendo cada d’ia una comunidad m’as grande, libre, dejando atr’as prejuicios o tab’us.

Creo que merezco el regalo porque me considero embajador en Espa~na de Wicked. Recomiendo a todo el mundo su uso y por un precio muy asequible, tendr’a una gran satisfacci’on. Con alguna idea m’as completo mi redacci’on y la mando al concurso. Pocas semanas despu’es me sorprende la publicaci’on de mi historia en la web.

De pronto todo cambia a m’i alrededor. Estoy en la cama junto a mi mujer. ?Ha sido todo un sue~no? Me levanto y busco en el armario. No, no ha sido un sue~no, all’i est’an los preciosos bikinis de mi mujer. Entonces pienso que quiz’as el premio lo merecen los creadores de Wicked que son los que permiten estos maravillosos sue~nos.

—

I close my eyes and see my wife with her new bikini on the beach. The beautiful sunset that we see no captures all eyes. My wife is the second sunset for the men there. It is a precious memory, and now that comes to mind I am going to see the latest styles in Wicked web. What is my surprise they have a contest called ‘Wicked Stimulus’. Then I begin to think why I should get some free stuff. I live in Spain, to 17,696 km of Australia, native country of Wicked Weasel. Far, far away, but I feel very close, because they have formed a large global community of fans of their designs.

So that exclusive designs for those who do not know, they stop, they ask, they are interested. As each day a larger community, free, leaving behind prejudices and taboos.

I think I deserve a gift because I believe Wicked ambassador to Spain. I recommend everyone to use, with a very affordable price, you have a great satisfaction. Any idea and complete the history and send this via mail. A few weeks later I was surprised by the publication of my story on the website.

Suddenly everything changes around me. I am in bed with my wife. Was it all a dream? I get up and seek in the closet. No, it was not a dream, there are precious bikinis of my wife. So I think maybe you deserve the free stuff, Wicked developers who are enabling these wonderful dreams.

Thanks.

Andrés

Less Is More

With the impending doom which has been forecast in the world financial markets I have been searching high and low for every opportunity to help the rest of the world and myself to weather the coming storm. Your offer of stimulus is very generous and I suspect will result in an increase in your overall sales, as the government model suggests, giving away free stuff is the best way to grow any organization and I suspect your business is not different. Possibly you might consider adding free health care, or possibly a high end vacation to Hawaii or Bora Bora which could subsequently be paid for by the children of the lucky travelers some time in the distant future. As such I want to help you by helping myself to some free stuff and certainly I’ll put this personal stimulus package to good use. Here is my personal plan to enact a return to the days of glory and prosperity of the late 1990’s.

My WW stimulus will be used in the purchase of microminimus bottoms. These bottoms use a minimal amount of material which must be better for the environment. With minimal material usage they are a wonderful example of how we as individuals can do our part to reduce our personal use of resources. I expect to lead by example by outfitting several women with them in an effort to change the world view of fabric conservation and its role in the economic turn around.

This will be the first step of many. I expect that with time tan tubes could become standard office wear for women around the world, especially in warmer climates. Again, along the lines of “YES WE CAN”, I fully expect to hear chants of “LESS IS MORE” coming from the newly enlightened masses. As we change our personal expectations for material conservation I believe the trend will expand throughout the rest of the economy. Large SUV’s will be replaced my small electric cars. Homes will become smaller and easier to heat, again this will allow the use of less material in clothing. Food supplies will grow as Americans especially become increasingly concerned with reduction of body mass and increased personal health as the clothing material reduction efforts take hold worldwide. Additionally the expected global warming will make this a requirement for so many in the future so we must not delay, today is the day to start!

The possible implications of these changes are mind boggling. Please consider the injustice you will be doing the world by denying me this opportunity to spark this revolution. Certainly I could start it with my own money, but that’s certainly not an example that makes rational sense currently.

Christopher B.
Ambassador for Change
LESS IS MORE!

No Stimulus

Peter,

As an American I’m too am against any Stimulus packages! (I didn’t vote for our drunken sailor.) I don’t want any free stuff. I paid to see my wife in Black/Pink 651 micro exotic lace knicker and it was worth every penny. I paid to see her in 657 naked lace microminimus knicker in black, in pink and in light blue and I’ll pay again to see her in different styles and colors. Seeing my own wife in 661 micro cotton workwear is inspiration enough to go out and make some money, and that’s all the Stimulus I need!

Jay From the USA

Stimulus Package Submission

I am writing to you for the benefit of my girlfriend Mona who will be celebrating (or likely dreading) one of those significant birthdays this upcoming July.

Times are tough for the both of us. We are both employed in the automotive supplier business in what is known as the “rust belt” of the Midwest United States where cars come from. Yup – we are taking a serious beating to our wallets here. We’ve both had our wages cut and work weeks shortened. Add to that a somewhat shortened summer season where time on a warm beach is as precious as employment with a fully matched retirement plan and a merit raise every few years! A new wicked Weasel bikini would go a long way towards improving the quality of my girlfriend’s life in these tough times.

I put a bit of thought how some of your products might help out financially in these tough times. What you might consider a small contribution to a huge problem may indeed be the keystone towards a worldwide financial recovery. Here is how I could see it playing out….

You provide the initial stimulus of some Wicked Weasel wear to my girlfriend through your stimulus package. She wears those when the sun remembers that it can visit the upper Midwest of the United States in April through October. She would wear it typically at the health club we belong to as well as to a beautiful sandy beach on Lake Huron on the middle east coast of Michigan. Therefore your product would be exposed to two distinctly different geographic groups.

Most men will have never seen anything that fantastic – my girlfriend in one of your suits. Blood will surge through the veins of these guys – the ‘stimulus’ you hoped for. They will of course come closer to find out what kind of suit it is, and therefore you’ll get additional business when we tell them …. while I fend them off with a lawn chair or beach umbrella. All that extra circulation will cause the guys to break out in a sweat. They’ll need to cool down. Since they were unprepared for any view this good they’ll immediately head to the local restaurants for a soda pop or perhaps a cold beer or other adult beverage.

The influx of additional orders for pop, beer and other drinks will cause the vendors to order more supplies. That’ll increase the number of driver’s deliveries and increase production upstream for the producers. Since the guys viewing your suit on the beach and at the club will have drank something to cool off they’ll want a bite to eat, ordering lunch or a burger or pizza. That’ll increase business for those vendors and increase production upstream in those supply chains.

The guys will of course want their best girl to wear one of your Wicked Weasels too. They will realize though the attention that their girl will get. All these guys will want to improve their shape to prevent their girl’s eye from drifting. That’ll stimulate the purchase of new clothing and health club memberships. Gifts will be bought for the girls, increasing retail traffic. Additional goods will be ordered to the stores to fill the new demand and lots of employees will be re-hired.

The guys who saw your wicked Weasel on the beach will want to take the two and a half hour drive from the Detroit, Michigan area up again the following weekend, and the weekend after that. The car that they’ve been driving is now beat and cannot take that amount of travel. Besides – girls like hot new cars, so the guys will want to buy a ‘chick magnet’. Suddenly the car dealerships will have to ramp up to fill the demand. Car showrooms will be packed with guys buying cars to enable them to get to the beach to see girls in Wicked Weasels.

Auto plants idled for months will be restarted. They say around her for every auto plant job lost there are at least 9 other jobs that fail too (suppliers, vendors to the plant, nearby restaurants, etc.). That trend will be reversed – people will go back to work. Wallets will have available money to spend. New jobs will be created to fill theses voids. Prosperity will soon spread worldwide.

Don’t you see it? By rewarding my girlfriend with Wicked Weasel wear through your stimulus package you will likely initiate the economic turn-around across the global markets! You can initiate what the governments were unable to do! (The government will, of course, take the credit for the turn-around but we’ll all know who the real hero is!)

I therefore respectfully request that you consider giving Wicked Weasel wear to my girlfriend, to initiate the global economic recovery in a mode more intensely building that a snowball rolling down a Michigan ski hill picking up inept skiers and snow boarders on its way down.

Many thanks for the consideration.

Jim

Stimulus Package Competition

Reading the Stimulus Package blog struck a chord, or at least a g-string, deep in my soul.

Your “Do nothing while attempting to make it look like you’re doing something” initiative is a fantastic opportunity to ‘give away’ your decline into bankruptcy. Hey, don’t worry though, the bigger your debt due to poor management strategies, the more you can get from the government. This will allow you to pay off the Ford/Mitsubishi, third mortgage on the mansion you got through Storm Financial, and maybe get some of the free cash available through the Administrator of Madoff (you DID know it was a pyramid scheme didn’t you?). After that you could sling your employees a few bucks, if you’re feeling generous. If.

Now, as a fan and regular(ish) purchaser of Wicked Weasel bikinis and accessories, I’d like to draw your attention to a few things:

1. I purchased several bikinis for my ex wife, who kept them (can you believe it?) after the split,
2. I have bought a few items that don’t fit my current partner,
3. Last year while vacationing in Mexico, a bikini top went missing during a spa party, never to be seen again,
4. The woman I bought a bikini and shorts for sent one lousy, out of focus picture of herself wearing them via cell phone and I have not heard from her since (nor has my partner),
5. You have refused to reintroduce Wicked Weasel stickers, which I would happily display on my vehicle, and
6. As well as the stickers, you often withdraw from the WW range, things I want to buy – think towels for instance.

The six points listed above may not indicate anything to do with present financial situations of multi national companies or governments. But you would be wrong. The factor that marries my situation with that of Ford, GMH, RBS, Madoff, Storm Financial, and me, is it’s not our fault.

That’s what you need to remember.
Nobody forced car manufactures to produce non fossil fuelled vehicles.
Nobody questioned Madoff as long as the profits kept coming.
Nobody told RBS not to lend the full value of a home mortgage to a single mother on the pension.

Nobody told me my wife would leave me, nobody told me, a male, that my partner’s boobs weren’t that size.
Nobody told me there’d be thieves in the spa. Nobody explained the woman I bought the WW stuff for was playing me like the fool I am.
Nobody told me that certain lines within the WW range would be removed without notice.
Finally, nobody told me not to sit at the computer and surf the web with a credit card in one hand, and a bottle of Glenfiddich in the other – with ice!

N O B O D Y told me. It cannot possibly be my fault.

I have already absolved myself of all wrongdoing and relieved myself of all responsibility. I’ve checked with my accountant and he’s down with it.
You should do the same.

Seriously – I want a WW sticker!

Kind regards,

John

Wicked Weasel Stimulus Plan

I read with interest your opinions and ideas on financial stimulus plans. I also read with excitement your plans to infuse the economy with your own stimulus packages.

I would like to “toss my bikini into the pile”, so to speak.

If I was to be successful in receiving funding from your wonderful and forward thinking company, I would indeed be able to not only be stimulating in your Bikinis, but also to stimulate the economy and increase spending in major cities around the world.

Allow me to present you with some examples of how I have already promoted your product and how I plan to use these experiences and the knowledge that I have gained to propel the economy forward.

* I have been a long time faithful and dedicated customer of Wicked Weasel Bikinis and have been known to wear them everywhere, not just the beach. Just last year, on our trip to Cabo San Lucas, while checking through security, I gave your name and company address to the Customs and Immigration Officer who had been quite surprised when he asked me to remove my coat and I was only wearing one of your bikinis underneath. Not only did he wish to purchase a suit for his wife, but also for his mistress. I was happy to have passed along the sales to you.
* Several years ago we were in Cuba and were in attendance at one of the (very long) speeches, given by the former Commander In Chief. Again, I had on one of your very sexy bikinis underneath a faux fur coat, which I had removed since the temperature in Cuba did not warrant a faux fur coat. The former Commander In Chief was so overwhelmed and awe struck by me in the swimsuit that he actually paused in the middle of his speech and immediately had me write down the name of your company and contact numbers. He expressed that he would be, of course purchasing a suit for EVERY one of his wives and girlfriends.
* When we travelled recently to the Dominican Republic, we were invited to a masked Bikini Ball. In my microminimus WW, I was chosen as Bikini Babe, the star of the party. Everyone, after admiring my bikini and taking numerous Paparrazzi shots of me, insisted I give them your address and information on how to purchase a bikini that would make them look as fabulous as I did. I was more than happy to comply. Certainly you must have seen the “spike” come through your order desk.

There are many more examples of how I have promoted your product and by doing so have increased the spending directly to your company. But the flow of cash does not stop there.

Think of the airlines, the travel agents, the wives and mistresses, their domestic help, it’s all a big trickle-down effect.

With funding from you, imagine how much more cash-flow I could generate back in to the world economy just by wearing a couple of inches of lycra! I must admit at this time that I do not have a WW bikini in every colour but I am doing the best I can to rectify this situation.

Since I have many trips planned in the future and my body is slammin’, I can only foresee more and more customers being attracted to your business due, of course, to my exposure in your high quality products, that have barely been covering girls since 1994.

As a 2 time contributor to Wicked Weasel and the recipient of hundreds of complimentary emails from people all over the world who viewed my photos, I know I have touched many lives in a positive way. And, as a woman over the age of 50, I feel I have a bit of an edge to be able to target a market of customers that may have a little more “disposable” income and encouraging postive, happier and fun times ahead – leading by example so to speak.

I, like you, feel for each and every person in society who has been touched by this economic crisis. And also, like you, I pledge to do my part, to “rock” that bikini, to put “a chicken in every pot”, “a car in every garage”, a dollar back in everybody’s pocket and a WW product on every girl.

I also promise that all of my bikinis that I no longer wear will be contributed to charity where their legacy will go on and on and on ….

Peter, I look forward to our ongoing stimulating and economically rewarding partnership for many years to come.

Sincerely,
Julie
A Loyal Wicked Weasel Customer

Hand Out

Dear Wicked Weasel – I am writing to you today to announce the eligibility of my hand for whatever you would like to put into it. In short, I would like to be put on Wicked Weasel Welfare (WWW for short). While the current global economy seems, as you so elegantly put it, to be dominated by a combination of “Here – take this whether you need it or not”. I would like to make the case that you lead by better example and distribute some of your goodwilled economic stimulus to myself – someone who will truly benefit from it.

I hear you now – from across the planet, asking yourself – how can someone truly be in need of tiny swimwear? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s plain and simple – although I might be carrying a few extra pounds right now and may squeeze myself into your lovely creations – I know how these programs work – governments budget HUGE dollars and by the time they actually get around to it – the money’s all but gone. SO! I have plenty of time to ensure that I will be completely fit.

As an added benefit – it’s more than likely that because of this global meltdown – there will be no food to eat. What little food will be left will undoubtedly be turned into ethanol – Further ensuring that my new lean physique will be ready to be adorned with your microminimus style (note the similarity to the word STIMULUS…)

What’s more – I really do HAVE to look good. In fact, the fate of the entire world rests on it – for if I don’t, there’s no way to attract local males who will reproduce with me – a lot. It will be reproduction in the future that truly will allow us to succeed – I actually think we will have to compete with imports of millions upon millions of Chinese babies as we are going to need exponentially more children to pay off this debt. Furthermore, it will be critical that I attract a rich man – as the healthcare of this country will be bankrupted as well – and I do hope to survive at least into my 30’s!

So I hope you can see now that it is imperative that you not just save my own ass, but also the asses of my future daughters, by bailing my sorry butt out and into something stretchy and sheer. It’s not just for me – it’s for the good of the world.

Love
Little Vixen

Everyone but Us

There are many reasons why I (respectively my girlfriend) should be taken in account for a “stimulus”.

Almost everybody seems to profit from our German government’s anti crisis management actions. Almost. The government has launched several programs to make sure that certain groups in our country have a reasonable extra amount of money in their pockets. Parents for example receive a bonus payment of 100EUR for every child they have. We don’t have any children. Supposedly something for the environment should be a bonus of 2500EUR for a new car you buy if you’re having your at least 9 year old one scrapped. As you can imagine ours is just seven years old. Even retired persons just received a three percent raise of their pensions. Bad luck for us again, we go to work every day…
There’s just one thing we seem to profit from: Due to the economic crisis the general health insurance fee was lowered from 15.5% to 14.9% of the gross salary for everybody! Happy faces everywhere one might think, but since it increased from 12.5% to 15.5% for us last year you can imagine how much we profit from that :-)

Therefore I think it’s time that all still-working childless owners of middle-aged cars with good-looking (not to say beautiful) girlfriends must finally be considered for a stimulus!

Thomas

WW Stimulus

Few weeks ago, while showering, suddenly I have realized very significant fact. I am government – in my household. At least I think I am. At a time of huge economic crisis my citizens (in numbers: 1) are expecting some bold moves, some tough decisions that will have long term impact on country (household) stability. Therefore, I decided to do what all big governments did. I decided to spend. But, contrary to governments I didn’t have any means to take anybody’s money, and as every government, I do not have any money. So, for a while, I was pretty defensive, explaining how only big players are spending money, and that my course is as similar as our state government. Just be silent, and claim that we are so small and so pure that we cannot get influenced by crisis. But, out of a blue, comes an opportunity. It is Wicked Stimulus contest, real (and only) chance to get some free stuff and to use that stuff to promote my government as strong fighter against economic crisis. Of course, I will claim that I have invested serious funds in long term stability program and that after serous analysis only way for my government out of this crisis was serious libido improvement for the citizens, but for the government as well. And can you imagine better tool for that than WW products? That was easy part. Now goes hard part- write good email to WW. But after all, it should not be that hard. Every government has tons of storywriters. The question is: who believes in their stories? I hope that WW will believe in mine and help me to fight crisis.

Aleksandar
Bosnia and Herzegovina

My Stimulus

My husband and I are newly married. He absolutely loves everything on your site and I wish I could order it all to make him happy. Unfortunately being a newly married couple with our economy the way it is we can not afford such great sexy lingerie and bikinis. I was blessed enough to be able to purchase 623 hipster rose mesh bottoms and I surprised my husband for valentines day after he had been out of town for over 2 weeks and he loved them. Right away he knew they were from WW. He is currently on another trip and will likely be away for a month and I wanted to surprise him with something else upon his return. That is when I came across your stimulus package. I would be so truly blessed to receive this package. My husband is a very hard working man and really deserves this surprise!

Thank You for what you are doing!

Allison W